Going to NFL games are the worst

In this photo made Saturday, Aug. 20, 2011, football fans fight in the stands during a preseason NFL football game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Oakland Raiders in San Francisco. After two men were shot and wounded following the San Francisco 49ers-Oakland Raiders preseason game, the NFL and the mayors of the two cities jointly called for an end to "intimidation" and acts of violence at sporting events. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Listen, I’ve only been to two NFL games in my lifetime, and both experiences were awful.

The first one was a Week 17 matchup between the Seahawks and Rams at the loudest stadium in football, CenturyLink Field.

The noise was really cool for about a minute, then gave me a fucking headache.

Was really fun using the washroom during halftime. Only took thirty minutes to find get an open stall.

Not going to lie, the food at the game was actually pretty good. If only I didn’t have to wait in a massive line and miss the entire 3rd quarter to get my order.

Now, my time at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

Beautiful stadium! Holds over 100,000 people!

That means just more room for a bunch of drunk people fighting in the stands.

I loved sitting next to Joe Pesci’s doppelgänger. He was wearing an oversized DeMarco Murray jersey and was there with what I thought was his daughter.

And then they started making out, nearly rolling into the seats in front of us. I need a beer.

The overpriced warm beverage was almost as disgusting as what I had just witnessed.

Safe to say I’m not going to another NFL game again unless I’m given free tickets.

Quite frankly, NFL games at sports bars aren’t much better. It’s extremely annoying asking the staff working there to change the channel to a certain game and having them fumble across the TV guide for minutes on end.

  • If you’re working at a sports bar, you should have a basic idea of the big sporting events during a shift

I’d also rather have the TV sound on, and not Bruno Mars “24K Magic” playing for the seventh time in two hours.

At the end of the day, you’re better off staying home watching several NFL games at one time from the beautiful confines of your own house.

Sit on that couch, save a fuck-ton of money and drink your own beer and chips, go to the washroom freely, and not have a headache by the end of the day.

It’s not rocket science.