Welp. It’s halftime, and I’ve been utterly embarrassed.
“Bullshit,” I said. “Just some more ridiculous Dallas-fan hubris.”
“No chance Dallas can take on New Orleans,” I said.
“Preposterous, but expected of Dallas fans to so blindly support the team that constantly breaks their heart,” I said. “It happens year after year after year.”
Yet, HERE I FUCKING AM, eating humble pie while staring a 13-0 Cowboys lead right in the face.
It was foolproof. Another year of Dallas heartbreak spent reminiscing Dak and Zeke’s theatrical rookie season. Just a few years later and despite the addition of Amari Cooper(who truly has helped), that offensive explosiveness and consistency is nowhere to be seen.
With Dallas’ positive trend as of late, you have to wonder. How much can this defense bend until they break? They’ll surely wear down as we approach the postseason… right?
It was the most enticing of bait and I knew it, yet I was still Eve in the Garden.
I mean, come on. You’re telling me dinner’s on you, and the main dish is self-assured Dallas fans who foolishly think they can slay Goliaths just because they’re on a little hot streak?
Of course I’ll talk shit Dallas this week! How ’bout a dose of reality, you motherfuckas?
Still, despite knowing, I should have known. Dallas only does well when I shit talk them. And I rarely talk shit, because I can’t kick the superstition.
And of all the times I talk shit, I talked shit on New Orleans’ behalf. I don’t even have a dog in the fight and I was talking mess. Serves me right.
- Dallas’ defense is looking pretty damn good right now
- Dallas could/should be up by much more
- Vegas is on edge
- And lastly…
8:56PM CST: Start of the second half.
We’re back from halftime. I just spent it maniacally writing down all of my thoughts, which I hope you enjoyed.
I also spent halftime psyching myself out over how this article increasingly appears like it will come down to me eating crow.
But… but… what have we here?
Well if it ain’t a bit of an early Saints comeback, taking the Cowboys lead down to three. We’re at 13-10 and it’s getting fun.
And the thing is, you can’t take much away from the Cowboys defense at all. I mean, we knew that already, but goodness gracious. They’ve been pedal to the metal, relentlessly pressuring Brees enough to cause multiple fumbles in the pocket, yet their offense has come up with just one first down in the second half. There’s 9:00 left in the game.
Ope, well excuuuuse me. I suppose the Boys heard me talking shit. Make that another first down, their second of the half, with 8:30 left in the game.
I suppose they really did hear me talking shit, because the Cowboys offense finally decided they wanted to take the game into their own hands. See why I don’t verbalize the shit talk I’m generally thinking? Because it activates “jinxes” and then we get crazy shit like the Dallas Cowboys going toe-to-toe with teams that are supposed to kick ass. Thanks a lot.
We’re in an interesting situation here, because if the Cowboys don’t get some points on the board, the time spent on this drive is all for naught. I’m not sure you want Brees to get the ball back for the game-winning drive opportunity. Then again, who knows with the way this Dallas defense has been playing.
OH SHIT. DAK FUMBLE AND SAINTS BALL. I swear on my LIFE that you couldn’t write these Cowboys games better if your last name was Spielberg.
Now, the elephant in the room…. Can Brees do it? Can he rise like a phoenix from the ashes that were quarters 1, 2, and 3?
Here we go. Saints ball at their 15 yard line. 2:35 left on the clock.
We got a short little toss to Michael Thomas in the middle. Not bad for five yards, but NO probably would have liked a few more yards on that one.
Saints line up in shotgun after no huddle….
OH MY SWEET DEAR LORD BABY JESUS. INTERCEPTION COWBOYS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Dallas picks off Brees on a horrible passing attempt to Kamara. Remember what I said about Spielberg? Fuckin’ fuhgettaboutit because I don’t even know who’s in charge of these scripts now!
I’ve got to admit, despite the Dallas’ hardships and aggravating decisions, they know how to play to the whistle and make it suspenseful. I mean, that was a win in total Cowboys fashion. An overall lackluster offensive performance held together at the seams by yet another impressive defensive effort.
What am I supposed to say? I got taken out back in the alley and beat like the punk I am. Maybe we need to start paying Dallas some attention, and their defense, some respect.
That’s four straight wins, good for a 7-5 record and first place in the NFC East. I’m gonna go snag some McDoubles to make this crow taste better.