Super Bowl LIII Recap

For the most part of the game last night, this was me:

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That was on account of LA shutting our offense down, alongside anxiety that grew with every botched drive. What the hell was that?

Thankfully, however, I ended up looking like this:

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Because that’s another ring for the GOAT and I’m exhilarated by it.

Forget the bullshit stories people will give you about players like Patrick Maholmes and Jared Goff being such great, new faces, who deserve to make it to a Super Bowl, instead of seeing New England and Brady try for the ninth time in 18 years.

It’s just like, hey…

Hey Now GIF - HeyNow BenStiller BustingYourChops ...

Shove it.

That is such loser mentality BS. Stop slobbering over rookies and young players having success as if they and the rest of us are supposed to be surprised by it. Make them earn it. It’s hilarious to me that people will hop on a player’s bandwagon just because they are young and it’s cute.

We all know that being in your young 20’s as a professional athlete doesn’t make you special, right? That it literally happens every year and that no athletes would find success so young if they employed the same mindset? Whatever, man. I digress.


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I mean SHEESH. What an absolutely nerve-wracking game for anybody involved. I know every human in the world and Vegas expected an explosive shootout, but this, to the New England fan, was honestly fantastic.

Y’all right now:

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Spare me, you sons of bitches, and let me explain my take. I get that everybody is tired of watching Brady and the Pats play for Lombardi after Lombardi and those poor offensive performances made last night boring for the majority of America… BUT COME ON FOLKS. THINK ABOUT THIS WITH ME FOR A SECOND.

Defense like that from the Patriots was incredible. Put that shit in my veins.

Here’s an FB post I made last night on the topic:

fb SB post

Am I wrong there? I certainly see where boredom can arise when you don’t have skin in the game, but isn’t that what the majority of watching competitive football is?

Clearly, viewers aren’t going to be excited by games they have no personal stake in, but last night was different. Last night, despite the crap I and many others gave and will give Coach McVay, was an incredible battle of coaching wit. I expect McVay to be a formidable NFL power for years to come.

To top off my entertainment point, the game stayed within three points for the entire game until Michel punched it in with 7:00 minutes left in the fourth quarter!

td drive

I get that the scoreboard was boring, y’all, but the game itself just wasn’t. Julian Edelman had 93 yards in the first half, for crying out loud. Despite everything that happened through the first three quarters, THERE WERE ONLY TWO FIELD GOALS until halfway through the fourth.

That is mind-blowing to me simply due to what offenses were on the field, and to the game planning it would take from both defensive units to pull last night off. What incredible efforts from both sides.

Team Matchup:

matchup team leaders