This post will contain spoilers from the Game of Thrones episode “The Battle of Winterfell.” Please stop reading if you don’t want this episode or the series spoiled for you.
Folks, Game of Thrones has taken over the world these days and since it’s not football season it’s America’s favorite thing to talk about right now.
It got me thinking, what if we combined America’s favorite thing that isn’t football with football. For those of you who watch both NFL football and Game of Thrones, you’re in for a treat.
Without further adieu, here are your favorite NFL Stars as Game of Thrones characters:
Brandon Stark- Eli Manning
This one was too easy. Both Bran Stark and Eli are known for sitting there with extremely perplexed looks on their faces.
At this stage in their career, neither can go anywhere unless their teammates help them get there. They both lost their favorite person to help them accomplish their goals: Eli lost Odell Beckham Jr. and Bran lost Hodor.
Cersei Lannister-Tom Brady
Just like Cersei Lannister, Tom Brady has been in power for too long and it’s getting boring. They both have relied on ginormous men to help them take care of business (The Mountain for Cersei and Rob Gronkowski for Brady).
Cersei Lannister is always willing to do experimental surgeries on people whereas Tom Brady’s TB12 method is literally an experimental health method personified. Both also love to kiss their family members on the mouth.
Varys- Bill Belichick
Like Varys, Bill Belichick always has his little birdies out and about to gain a competitive advantage. However, Belichick’s “birdies” are in the form of cameras and deflated footballs.
Neither of these men are physically dominating. Instead they lurk in their sweatshirts in the shadows and use spies to accomplish their work for them.
Daenerys Targaryen-Roger Goodell
Dany is always walks around telling people to bend the knee. She loves power more than anything and is willing to do whatever it takes to get it and keep it. She will burn people with her dragons and take over villages claiming to free slaves of their chains but ultimately starting more problems.
Remind you of anyone in the NFL?
That’s right, Roger Goodell. The Dragons that he burns players with is just the CBA.
It’s ironic that someone who always wants people to bow to the crown fines players for leading with the crown of their helmet.
Jorah Mormont- The Entire Minnesota Vikings Organization
If the friendzone were a person then that person would be Jorah Mormont. He literally spent the entire series trying to get Daenerys to love him but instead he watched man after man win her heart before he ever did.
If that doesn’t sum up the entire existence of the Minnesota Vikings and their quest for a Super Bowl win then I don’t know what does.
Jon Snow- Drew Brees
Undersized and always doubted by his peers, Jon Snow and Drew Brees have shared similar paths.
Both have also resurrected their career when it all appeared to be over. A shoulder injury almost derailed the career of Drew Brees early on whereas Jon Snow legitimately was dead for a few days.
The other concept is that most of the general public loves and roots for both of these guys. Most people wouldn’t be upset if Jon Snow ends up winning the throne and if Drew Brees got one more Super Bowl before he retired most people wouldn’t mind that, either.
Sandor Clegane (The Hound)- Le’Veon Bell
Just like Le’Veon Bell, The Hound has a tendency to hold out during battle as his performance in the Battle of Winterfell was pathetic. He may as well have just sat out this entire season of the show and signed a new contract elsewhere.
They’ve both also had uncomfortable experiences with fire. The Hound’s face was almost burnt off by his brother and Le’Veon Bell has to deal with fire internet takes like this one every day of his life.
Jaime Lannister- Ray Lewis
Both of these people are loved by many but have dark pasts that the mainstream media has made you forget about. Ray Lewis (allegedly) killed two men in Atlanta back in 2000 and Jaime Lannister tried to kill Bran Stark in the very first episode of the series.
The difference between these two characters is that Ray Lewis used excellent public relations strategies to repair his image and Jaime actually had a life altering experience.
Ramsay Bolton- Dave Gettleman
One characteristic of Ramsay Bolton that made Ramsay Bolton such a monster was his tendency to essentially play with his food before he ate it. He would take away every single part of what made people human beings in order to break them.
Similarly, Dave Gettleman couldn’t just destroy the Giants franchise in one fell swoop. He had to dismantle the franchise piece by piece. He traded Odell Beckham Jr. first. He then took Daniel Jones with a first round pick.
By the time that Dave Gettleman is done with the Giants they are going to be a shell of what they once were and their fans will not recognize the franchise that they once knew and loved.
Arya Stark- DeAndre Hopkins
Up until the Battle of Winterfell when Arya heroically defeated the Night King, Arya always did her killings in stealth mode. She didn’t use a ton of flash but her talent was undeniable.
Similarly, DeAndre Hopkins isn’t going to kill you loudly like an Odell Beckham or Antonio Brown type person would but if you let him lurk in the shadows he’s gonna put a lot of points on the board against your team.
Tyrion Lannister- Sean McVay
The brains of the operation. Both of these men have brilliant minds that aren’t always perfect. We saw Sean McVay falter in Super Bowl 53 and we’ve seen Tyrion fail his queen multiple times in recent seasons.
That being said, when it comes to strategy, there’s few people that I’d rather have on my side when plotting an attack on an opposing team.
The Night King- Ben Roethlisberger
Both the Night King and Ben Roethlisberger are universally disliked and not too many people are sure what they truly want. These men are also both extremely fragile.
Big Ben is in a walking boot after he has a tough game and it took just a single stab of dragon glass to kill the Night King and destroy his entire army.
That being said, this clip is one of my favorite Big Ben clips of all time. Everyone thought that he was going to be out for the season since he played up the injury so dramatically but he was ultimately back in for the next series.
Sansa Stark- Aaron Rodgers
Sansa Stark and Aaron Rodgers are both very intelligent and powerful people in their respective fields but does anyone actually truly like either of these people?
Both definitely respect how good they are at their jobs but I’m not sure if anyone outside of their own houses truly loves either one of these people.
Theon Greyjoy- Michael Bennett
Both of these people are willing to sell out in order to run away from a problem that they created themselves. Michael Bennett has (allegedly) pushed an elderly paraplegic woman and fabricated issues with law enforcement that actually weren’t there.
They both have cowardly tendencies and at times both the show and the NFL would be better places without each of these people.
Melisandre- Odell Beckham Jr.
It’s no doubt that both Melisandre and Odell Beckham are supremely talented. The Red Witch can resurrect people from the dead light things on fire by just saying a spell. Odell Beckham Jr. can turn any play into a touchdown.
That being said, both of these people can be a distraction in their respective locker rooms whether they mean to be or not. Whether it’s boat trips the week before a playoff game or burning children at the stake, their antics can ultimately put a damper on their reputation despite their supreme talent.