Paul Pierce Needs To Resign As An Analyst IMMEDIATELY

BOSTON, MA - MAY 27: Former NBA Player Paul Pierce before Game Seven of the 2018 NBA Eastern Conference Finals between the Boston Celtics and the Cleveland Cavaliers at TD Garden on May 27, 2018 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

2019 has not been kind to Mr. Pierce.

Earlier this year, he was asked who will go down in history as the better NBA player, him or Dwyane Wade. Without skipping a beat, he replies: “That’s easy! I could say that off the bat. That’s me.”

Whoa whoa whoa, now don’t get me wrong, Pierce was and will go down as one of the better players that has played in the NBA. But better than D-Wade? I don’t think so. Wade is arguably one of the top 3 SG’s to ever lace em up. Pierce might round out somebody’s top 50.

Let’s bring up some statistics:

Wade averaged 22 points a game, 4.7 rebounds, and 5.4 assists. His career field goal percentage was 48% and his Player Efficiency Rating (PER) was 23.5.

Pierce averaged 19.7 points a game, brought down 5.6 rebounds, and had 3.5 assists per game. Pierce’s career field goal percentage was 44.5% and he had a PER of 19.7

Statistics advantage: Wade

Wade had more career All-Star appearances, more All-NBA selections, and the most important accolade when it comes to defining great players (Jordan fans, please put your erections away): RINGS! Wade has 3 to Paul Pierce’s 1.

After making an ass of himself with the Wade comparison, Mr. Pierce decides to really drive his career as an NBA analyst right off of a cliff. After the Celtics took the first game against the Eastern Conference Favorite Milwaukee Bucks, Pauly decides to announce on national television that the the series is over. It’s almost like this man doesn’t know anything about the Professional Sports Gods. YOU JUST CAN’T SAY THAT STUFF.

The Basketball Gods took no mercy on Pauly. The Celtics defense is putting up about as much resistance as a college girl at her first frat party, Kyrie Irving is probably negotiating some free agency deals during timeouts, and Greek Freak is hitting the hole like he’s preparing for a career in Adult Entertainment.

The Celtics are on the brink of being sent home and Pierce has to be considering yet another retirement. I don’t think that he’ll get a farewell tour this time either.