Ranking the teams we don’t want to win the NBA Draft Lottery Tonight

Folks, the NBA Draft Lottery tonight and this is arguably the most hyped up draft lottery since the primadonna from Akron known as Lebron James was coming out of high school.

It’s no secret that the number one pick this year is going to be the legendary, franchise-changing, future GOAT Zion Williamson. I for one love the kid. He works hard, doesn’t seem like he has too big of an ego, and he’s damn good at basketball. He’s already my favorite NBA player and he’s not even in the league yet.

That being said, in order to preserve the greatness of the NBA we shouldn’t want him to go to any of the following teams.

1. Los Angeles Lakers

The only thing that could make me hate Zion Williamson would be him teaming up with Lebron James. Even in that instance I wouldn’t hate Zion as much as I’d hate the situation of my favorite player having to team up with the evil coach destroyer Lebron James.

This absolutely can’t happen, right? I mean the Lakers have just a 2% chance of winning the lottery but I wouldn’t be shocked at all if they rigged it for this to happen. The TV networks would be leaping for joy if this happened.

If you’re a smart person and you don’t like Lebron James then you’re absolutely rooting for anyone else to win the lottery except them. It would destroy the NBA for the foreseeable future if the Lakers won the draft lottery.

2. Chicago Bulls

The Bulls make this list honestly because of one reason and one reason only: Grand Old Sports has a feud with the city of Chicago and I don’t want to see their fans be happy. I’d say that it’s not personal but it most definitely is.

The thought of the Cubs being on an absolute tear right now and them getting Zion Williamson over the course of the same month makes me sick. Plus there would be debates for years over who the better Bull is between Michael Jordan or Zion. It just can’t happen.

Also, while you’re here, check out my song about the city of Chicago. 

3. New York Knicks

Let’s be honest here: It’s fun watching the New York Knicks suck at basketball. They’ve been the butt of every joke since I was a little kid and I’m not ready to let that part of my life go yet.

Zion would give this team hope. He could lure potential free agents like Golden State Warriors serpent Kevin Durant and Boston Celtics perennial Robin Kyrie Irving to join them.

James Dolan, their owner, doesn’t deserve to have hope. He doesn’t deserve to have talented free agents join his team. This man literally banned a fan from MSG for telling him to sell the team. He’s one of the worst owners in professional sports. Let’s hope the Knicks don’t get him.

4. Los Angeles Lakers

It’s so important that he doesn’t go to the Lakers that I put it on here twice. This can not happen. Forcing Zion to play with Lebron would be cruel.

5. Sacramento Kings

It’s a good thing that there’s only a 1% chance that this can happen because Zion going to the Kings wouldn’t be good. For starters, the Kings are the most forgettable team in the entire NBA. Sacramento is basketball purgatory. Nobody outside of the city of Sacramento even remotely cares about them.

Secondly, all of his games would be a 10:00pm every night which would make it difficult for a lot of east coast fans to watch him play since people don’t want to be up until 1:00 am on work nights.

It would ultimately be a place where Zion withers away for a few years until he would be forced to leave them for a bigger and better team.