If you’re not a Bruins fan and you want them to win the Stanley Cup then you’re a horrible person

Folks, the Stanley Cup Final begins tonight in what many have said is the worst Stanley Cup Playoffs in recent memory. Virtually all of the good teams were eliminated in the first round and rounds two and three were snooze fests. That being said, hockey fans everywhere are deciding who they want to root for in the Stanley Cup Final.

In one corner you have the Blues who hail from one of the hardest working cities in America. A city that had their football team stripped away from them in horrible fashion. A city that hasn’t won a championship since the Cardinals, AKA America’s team, won the World Series in 2011. A city that hasn’t won a Stanley Cup in their 50+ years of having a hockey team.

In the other corner you have the Boston Bruins whose second best player licks people.

This is a city that is full of classless sports fans. A city that wins in virtually every sport and rubs it in everyone’s face incessantly. A city that had a racial slur trending on twitter after PK Subban scored a game winning goal against them in the playoffs in 2014.

If you’re not a Bruins fan and you decide to hop on the Bruins bandwagon for the next two weeks then you’re a terrible person. These fans deserve to be miserable. They deserve to never win anything again for their entire existence for how awful they act.

Any good American will be hopping on the Blues bandwagon with me for the next two weeks. Your country needs you, St. Louis. Hopefully you answer the call.