Folks, that was the longest headline I’ve ever written in my life. Anyways, Orlando City Soccer Club finally named their stadium today after two years of losing sponsorship money by not naming it.
It’s a good name that’s a good, local company. It reminded me of the time when I created a fake tweet that a lot of Orlando City fans believed naming the stadium “Petrobras Field.”
Since the ownership of the club is Brazilian I figured it would make sense to choose a Brazilian company to name the stadium. I then googled “corrupt Brazilian companies” and chose the one that sounded best.
I didn’t think that anybody would believe me because I have zero credibility. I’m basically the CNN of twitter accounts. But people did believe me and the results were hilarious.
The libs really hated an oil company sponsoring our field.
The team still hasn’t come close to winning anything. Trump Field definitely would have been a better name.
Anyways, they say an idol mind is the devil’s workshop. Fake news is super easy to create when you’re bored at work. Maybe CNN should give me a job because I could make up a zillion stories that idiots would gobble right up.